Sunday, October 19, 2014

On Awkward Eye Contact

I was a well-socialized homeschooler, but there are a few more people at my college than my living room. So maybe ya'll experienced folks can help me with a problem:

Namely...what does one do with their eyes when a stranger is walking in the opposite direction?

I mean, there are a few options:

1) Be that creeper that awkwardly stares at the other person.
  • pro: you may seem confident
  • con: you may send off a variety of unforseen messages 
    • I am interested in you
    • I have no social skills
    • I am stoned (Christian college, bad idea)
    • I am a super-villian

2) Be that awkward that creepily avoids eye contact with the other person.
  • pro: you don't have to make eye contact
  • con: you send off more unforseen messages like
    • I am supremely embarassed
    • I have no confidence
    • I am a loser
    • ........you get the picture
3) Smile slightly and move into "operation break eye contact" by:
  • a) finding something so incredibly interesting you must stare at it. (Anything works really, dead leaves, birds, clouds, walls).
  • b) doing an extended blink (one, two, three, ok they are probably looking away now)
 4) Pretend you are texting someone. 
                     *side note* If you want to seem really cool you can do the "cute text" smile.
  • pro: you may seem confident, fulfilled, socially active
  • cons: 
    • you may seem like a jerk that doesn't give people the time of day
    • you may miss the opportunity to have brief contact with another humanoid, blessing their day and profoundly affecting their future
    • you get addicted to your phone (don't do it!)

And while I'm figuring this out, my bag squeaks. (Refer to "On Squeaky Bags").

Sooooooo........if anyone has any solutions to this conondrum, please tell me.


....or maybe I should just stop thinking too much......



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